Really Funny Jokes

Posted: 19 Jan 2010 12:02 AM PST

A father, son and grandfather went to the country club for their weekly round of golf. Just as they reached the first tee, a beautiful young blonde woman carrying her bag of clubs approached them.

She explained that the member who brought her to the club for a round of golf had an emergency that called him away, and asked the trio if she could join them. Naturally, the guys all agreed.

Smiling, the blonde thanked them and said, "Look, fellows, I'm a dancer in a topless bar so nothing shocks me anymore. If any of you want to smoke cigars, drink beer, bet, swear, tell off-color stories or do whatever it is you normally do when playing golf together, feel free to do so. But I want you to know I take my golf game seriously and consider myself to be pretty good at it, so don't try to coach me on how to play my shots." With that, the guys agreed to relax and invited her to tee-off first.

All eyes were fastened on her shapely behind as she bent over to place her ball on the tee. She then took her driver and hit the ball 270 yards down the middle, right in front of the green.

The father's mouth was agape. "That was beautiful," he said.

The blonde put her driver away and said, "I really didn't get into it and I faded it just a little."

After the three guys hit their drives and their second shots, the blonde took out an eight iron and lofted the ball within five feet of the pin.

The son said, "Damn, lady, you played that perfectly."

The blonde frowned and said, "It was a little weak, but even a soft seven would have been too much club. I've left myself a tricky little putt." She then tapped in the five-footer for a birdie.

Having the honors, she hit first on the second hole, knocked the hell out of the ball, and it landed nearly 300 yards away, smack in the middle of the fairway.

For the rest of the round the leggy blonde continued to amaze the guys, quietly shooting par or less on every hole.

When they arrived at the 18th green, the blonde was three under and had a very difficult 12-foot putt on an undulating green for a par. She turned to the three guys and said, "I really want to thank you all for not acting like a bunch of chauvinists and telling me what club to use or how to play a shot, but I need this putt for a 69 and I'd really like to break 70 on this course. If any one of you can tell me how to make par on this hole, I'll take him back to my apartment, ply him with 35-year-old, Single Malt, Strathmill Scotch, fix him a steak dinner, and then show him a very good time the rest of the night."

The yuppie son jumped at the thought! He strolled across the green,carefully eyeing the line of the putt, and finally said, "Honey, aim about 6 inches to the right of the hole and hit it firm. It will get over that little hump and break right into the cup."

The father knelt down and sighted the putt using his putter as a plumb."Don't listen to the kid. You want to hit it softly 10 inches to the right and let it run left down that little hogback so it drops in the cup."

The old gray-haired grandfather walked over to the blonde's ball, picked it up, handed it to her and said, "That's a gimme, sweetheart."

The blonde smiled and said, "Your car or mine?"

OLD AGE AND WISDOM WILL OVERCOME SKILL EVERY TIME!

Best funny jokes-Tailored trousers

Posted: 19 Jan 2010 12:01 AM PST

The customer was dissatisfied with his pair of tailored trousers and decided to take them back to the tailor. However, the tailor was out and only his wife was there at the shop. The customer was rather embarrassed at explaining the problem to her and said, "This pair of trousers is like the ballroom in Westminster Abbey."

The tailor's wife was surprised and said, "Sir, there is no ballroom in the Abbey."

To which the customer replied, "Well, there is no ballroom in this trouser either."

Really Funny Jokes

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Really Funny Jokes

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