| Clean jokes-Microsoft beverages Posted: 13 Feb 2010 12:02 AM PST 
After the recent Anti-trust hearings, Bill Gates recently compared the software market with the soft drink market. He says Microsoft is struggling to survive but that the beverage giant will be on top forever because the Department of Justice doesn't pick on them. Of course, Bill should be careful not to give Coke any ideas. We might end up with a scenario like the following:
Joe: (walking into McDonalds) Hi, I'd like a Big Mac.
Cashier: Okay, here's your Big Mac and here's your Coke. That'll be $3.99.
Joe: Uh, I don't want a Coke.
Cashier: Sorry, they're bundled.
Joe: What? I'm not paying for a Coke!
Cashier: You don't; the Coke is free.
Joe: But wasn't a Big Mac $2.49 last week?
Cashier: Sure, but this latest Big Mac is far more innovative. It's got integrated Coke!
Joe: I already bought a Snapple across the street... I'm not going to drink the Coke.
Cashier: Then you can't have the burger.
Joe: Okay, fine, I will pay the $3.99 and throw the Coke away.
Cashier: Oh, you can't do that. They're seamlessly integrated. Totally inseparable.
Joe: How can that be? They're two totally separate things!
Cashier: No, watch. (takes Big Mac, dunks it in a tank of Coke) See?
Joe: Why did you just do that?!
Cashier: It's a benefit to the consumer. Otherwise you'd end up with two different, inconsistent tastes. This way you're assured of a continuous taste across all your foods.
Joe: Aaarrgh! |
| Adult jokes-Only species Posted: 13 Feb 2010 12:01 AM PST 
A farmer and his wife were lying in bed one evening; she was knitting, and he was reading the latest issue of Animal Husbandry.
He looked up from the page and said to her, "Did you know that humans are the only species in which the female achieves orgasm?"
She looked at him wistfully, smiled, and replied, "Oh, yeah? Prove it."
He frowned for a moment, then said, "Okay."
He got up and walked out, leaving his wife with a confused look on her face.
About a half hour later, he returned all tired and sweaty and proclaimed, "Well, I'm sure the cow and sheep didn't, but the way that pig is always squealing, how can I tell?" |
