| Adult jokes-Vibrators vs men Posted: 27 Oct 2009 12:04 AM PDT 
A vibrator doesn't have an orgasm first and then just stop "vibrating."
Vibrators are never too busy watching the game on TV
Batteries are cheaper than pick up trucks!!
When we're done with them we can stuff them back in the drawer and not hear from them until we're ready.
It's happy to keep going until we're satisfied.
We can get a bigger one or one that has better options whenever we want without being called a slut.
Position is your choice, not his.
It always is hard.
It doesn't leave a mess behind.
You don't have to wear an ill fitting teddy to excite it.
It doesn't care that you gained 10 lbs.
It doesn't fall asleep and snore in your ear after wards.
You don't have to clean up the apartment before bringing it home.
They don't get tired after the first time
They never poke you in the back in the morning to see if you are in the mood.
In the morning you don't have to fix it breakfast.
Safe sex without a rubber
A couple batteries and you don't have to put up with the shit, just turn it off when you get done with it !
As long as you have a new pack of energizers the vibrator can keep going and going and going! (while you keep coming and coming!)
Vibrators are portable so you can do it anytime, anywhere you want!!
They don't burp, fart, belch or fall asleep on you.
You don't have to dress up for your vibrator.
You can show it off to your friends.
They never wake up at 4 a.m. asking for another one
It doesn't leave a wet spot.
It can be stashed away in a drawer.
It doesn't have a mother!!
It doesn't require "a little lip action" to get hard.
You know exactly where it's been.
Vibrators don't care if you get crumbs in the bed.
They never come before you do.
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| Kids jokes-Mischievous Brothers Posted: 27 Oct 2009 12:03 AM PDT 
Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.
The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.
So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon. The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly,
"Do you know where God is, son?"
The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?!"
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed,
"Where is God?!"
The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "what happened?" The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time.
GOD is missing, and they think we did it! |
| Really funny jokes-Insurance claim Posted: 27 Oct 2009 12:03 AM PDT 
Larry's barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company.
Susan told the insurance company, "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money."
The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute, Susan. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of what was insured and provide you with a new one, practically identical, of comparable worth."
There was a long pause before Susan replied, "Then I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband." |
