Really Funny Jokes
>> Friday, November 5, 2010
Really Funny Jokes |
- Adult jokes | Name after soda pop
- Good jokes-Use my landmower
- Funny jokes-Actual writings on Hospital Charts
| Adult jokes | Name after soda pop Posted: 05 Nov 2010 01:41 AM PDT
Three ladies are sitting in a bar. All of them have husbands named Larry. One lady asks, "If you could name your husband after any soda pop, what would it be?" The first lady thinks for a minute and says, "Moutain Dew, because he can mount and do me anytime." The second lady thinks for awhile and finally says, "7-Up, because he has seven inches and can always get it up." The third lady thinks for a long time and finally says, "Jack Daniels." The other ladies look at her with a confused look and say, "Wait a minute, Jack Daniels is a hard liquor." The third lady says, "Yep, thats my Larry!"   |
| Posted: 05 Nov 2010 12:02 AM PDT
I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.   |
| Funny jokes-Actual writings on Hospital Charts Posted: 05 Nov 2010 12:01 AM PDT
Actual writings on Hospital Charts The patient refused autopsy. The patient has no previous history of suicides. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. She is numb from her toes down. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home. The skin was moist and dry. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches. Patient was alert and unresponsive. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. Skin: somewhat pall, but present. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room· The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.   |
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