Really Funny Jokes

>> Friday, December 25, 2009

Really Funny Jokes

Really funny jokes-SWAT team

Posted: 25 Dec 2009 12:05 AM PST


The murderer was holed up in his house, and the SWAT team was trying to get him out.
A cop got on the bullhorn and said, "Come on out, or I'm going to come in there and drag you out!"
The murderer called back, "I'm warning you. If you don't wipe your feet when you come in, my wife'll kill us both!"

Kids jokes-Voting

Posted: 25 Dec 2009 12:04 AM PST


Marty took her pre-school son with her when she voted. The polling site was in an elementary school cafeteria that was decorated with paper turkeys in anticipation of Thanksgiving.
As Marty went into the voting booth her little boy asked -- you guessed it -- "Which turkey are you voting for?"

Clean jokes-A Mother's Dictionary

Posted: 25 Dec 2009 12:03 AM PST


A - ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

B - BATHROOM: A room used by the entire family, believed by all except Mom to be self-cleaning.

C - COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

D - DATE: Infrequent outings with Dad where Mom can enjoy worrying about the kids in a different setting.

E - EMPTY NEST: See "WISHFUL THINKING."

F - FABLE: A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.

G - GUM: Adhesive for the hair.

H - HINDSIGHT: What Mom experiences from changing too many diapers.

I - INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

J - JUNK: Dad's stuff.

K - KISS: Mom's medicine.

L - LEMONADE STAND: Complicated business venture where Mom buys powdered mix, sugar, lemons, and paper cups, and sets up a table, chairs, pitchers and ice for kids who sit there for three to six minutes and next a profit of 15 cents.

M - MAYBE: No.

N - NAIL POLISH: part of an assortment of make-up items such as lipstick, eyeliner, blush etc. which ironically make Mom look better while making her young daughter look "like a tramp."

O - OVERSTUFFED RECLINER: Mom's nickname for Dad.

P - PANIC: What a mother goes through when the darn wind-up swing stops.

Q - QUIET: A state of household serenity which occurs before the birth of the first child and occurs again after the last child has left for college.

R - REFRIGERATOR: Combination art gallery and air-conditioner for the kitchen.

S - SPOILED ROTTEN: What the kids become after as little as 15 minutes with Grandma.

T - TOWELS: See "FLOOR COVERINGS".

U - UNDERWEAR: An article of clothing, the cleanliness of which ensures the wearer will never have an accident.

V - VACATION: Where you take the family to get away from it all, only to find it there, too.

W - WALLS: Complete set of drawing paper for kids that comes with every room.

X - XOXOXOXOXO: Mom salutation guaranteed to make the already embarrassing note in a kid's lunch box even more mortifying.

Y - "YIPPEE!": What mother's shout the first day of school.

Z - ZUCCHINI: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it.

Posted by madhu at 5:31 AM

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