Really Funny Jokes

>> Monday, May 30, 2011

Really Funny Jokes

Really funny jokes-More Liberal Pick-Up Lines

Posted: 30 May 2011 12:01 AM PDT


The Top 10 Liberal Pick-Up Lines

10) You sure you're not Joy Behar? Cause I'm really digging the view.

9) The caribou are rapidly disappearing. Mind if I look for them under your skirt?

8) Mandate your coverage? I mandate you get uncovered.

7) Why don't you come back to my place and I'll show you my stimulus package.

6) I'm Pro-Choice, so you can choose to be on top or bottom.

5) Let's hop in my electric car and let the sparks fly.

4) I saw you across the room, and thought, "I'd like to have him help me get my first abortion."

3) You're so hot, you should be banned by the Kyoto Treaty.

2) Want to see my solo performance of the Vagina Monologues?

1) My wife just doesn't understand me. She's the Secretary of State, and travels all the time.

Funny jokes-The ultimate rejection letter

Posted: 30 May 2011 12:01 AM PDT


The ultimate rejection letter

Herbert MillingtonChair - Search Committee, Whitson University, College Hill, MA

Dear Professor Millington,

Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your department. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals. Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then. Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,

Chris L. Jensen

Teacher jokes-Definitely

Posted: 30 May 2011 12:01 AM PDT


A kindergarten teacher one day is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word "definitely" to them. To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence.

The first student raised his hand and said "The sky is definitely blue".

The teacher said, "Well, that isn't entirely correct, because sometimes it's gray and cloudy".

Another student says, "Grass is definitely green."

The teacher again replies "If grass doesn't get enough water it turns brown, so that isn't really correct either."

Another student raises his hand and asks the teacher "Do farts have lumps?" The teacher looked at him and said "No...But that isn't really a question you want to ask in class discussion."

So the student replies, "Then I definitely sh*t my pants."

Posted by madhu at 5:06 AM

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