Really Funny Jokes
>> Monday, October 18, 2010
Really Funny Jokes |
| Adult jokes | Newly married man Posted: 18 Oct 2010 12:37 AM PDT
A newly married man was discussing his honeymoon. He says to his buddy at lunch, "Last night, I rolled over, tapped my beautiful young wife on the shoulder, gave her a wink, and we had ourselves a performance! Later that night, about 2 o'clock, I rolled over, gave my sweetie a nudge, and we had ourselves another performance. Well, being so newly married and not yet tired of the task, I waited quietly in bed while my beauty slept until I couldn't wait any longer. It was 4 o'clock when I gave her a little nudge. She opened her blue eyes and smiled sweetly. We immediately had ourselves a rehearsal." "A rehearsal?" his buddy asks, "Don't you mean a performance? " "No, because a rehearsal is when nobody comes."   |
| Posted: 18 Oct 2010 12:01 AM PDT
1. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times... 2. The names contained in this report have been changed to protect the innocent ... 3. The mayor then made an illegal left hand turn onto Mulraney at which point I opened fire ... 4. Before I get into the details, I've got a few "shout- outs" for my homeys in the command staff. 5. It was so dark and wet that night you could almost eat the mist. The radio call penetrated the eerie silence with such piercing intensity that for a moment, I was sure I'd lost my mind ... 6. Got call. Responded. Arrested bad guy. The end. 7. Mye pertnar an eye wher on petrol wen we seen a man act suspishushly. .. 8. The suspect then tried to assault me by repeatedly slamming his face into my fist ... 9. A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away ...   |
| Posted: 18 Oct 2010 12:01 AM PDT
An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist." Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute. Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all. His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?"   |
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