Really Funny Jokes

>> Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Really Funny Jokes

Adult jokes | Wax museum

Posted: 06 Oct 2010 02:16 AM PDT


The wax museum just acquired a very good wax figure of ex prez Bill Clinton. They had it arranged to show him in an authoritative stance in front of several staff members set on a stage made up like the oval office. After the figure had been on display for a couple of days, the museum employees were constantly having to go in and rezip Bill's zipper, it kept falling to the 'down' position. They even went so far as to sew it in place, but that too met with some foul play, and the zipper was found ripped loose and in the down position. So, to get to the bottom of this mystery, the museum installed a hidden camera to catch the culprit. They did. And it was more than just one. During the course of one day no less than 18 different women stepped into the exhibit, got down on their knees, unzipped that zipper then placed their head on 'his' trousers and had a friend snap their photo.

Really funny stuff-Five Amusing Shop Signs

Posted: 06 Oct 2010 12:02 AM PDT


1. Outside a dress shop, Hong Kong:
LADIES HAVE FITS UPSTAIRS.

2. Tailor shop, Greece:
ORDER YOUR SUMMERS SUIT. BECAUSE IS BIG RUSH, WE WILL EXECUTE CUSTOMERS IN STRICT ROTATION.

3. On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT.

4. At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS.
IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

5. Shipton-under-Wychwood in Oxon, UK has a local plumber whose van announces: '
The Lone Drainer - he come pronto.'

Teacher jokes-Figures of Speech

Posted: 06 Oct 2010 12:01 AM PDT


A fifth grade teacher was questioning her students use of the word "like." She explained that, contrary to their common use of it, "like" was not an adjective but a comparison word. She then challenged them to think up some similes to exemplify the lesson. This done, she moved on to ask about other figures of speech.

"Class, what others can you think of?"

No one in the class could come up with anything, so she prompted them with a couple of her own.
"How about metaphors and personification?" she asked. "Aren't they examples?"

Little Johnny raised his hand, and when called upon said, "I know what a metaphor is, but not personification."

The teacher replied, "What's the word to describe what I'm saying when I point to that old willow tree and say 'He's saluting us with his branches.' Or what if I asked the sun to send us some sunshine? Or if I said 'That field of tall grass is waving at us?' What word best describes what I'm doing when I speak like that?"

Little Johnny thought a moment, then said, "Hallucinating?"

Posted by madhu at 5:10 AM

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