Really Funny Jokes

Blonde jokes-Hammering
Clean jokes funny-She's the devil
Short funny jokes-Popcorn with fingers
Animal jokes-Big bad wolf
Really funny jokes-Fluctuations
Funny halloween jokes-Least popular candles
Teacher jokes-Seventeenth Chapter
Really funny jokes-Best flag
Short humor jokes-Here are some nice Dilbert's one liners:
Kids jokes-Better boy
Short funny jokes-Werewolf and vampire

Posted: 27 Mar 2010 12:02 AM PDT

Q: Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail she was hammering?
A: The noise gave her a headache!

Posted: 13 Mar 2010 12:02 AM PST

Last night as I headed to the cash register at Gelson's, a middle-aged blond woman was in a tirade at the check-out stand.

"She's the Devil," she rasped to a thin fey man next to her in line.

I stopped and asked her dead-pan,

"Are you kibitzing about Sarah Palin?"

"Yes," she shouted gleefully in response.

"See, you didn't even have to reveal her name and I knew who you were talking about."

All the shoppers within earshot roared!

Short funny jokes-Popcorn with fingers

Posted: 11 Mar 2010 12:02 AM PST

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately...

Animal jokes-Big bad wolf

Posted: 11 Mar 2010 12:01 AM PST

Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees a big, bad wolf crouched down behind a log.
"My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf."
The wolf jumps up and runs away.
Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched behind a bush.
"My what big ears you have, Mr. Wolf."
Again the wolf jumps up and runs away.
About two miles down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched down behind a rock.
"My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf."
With that the wolf jumps up and screams,
"Will you knock it off, I'm trying to shit!"

Really funny jokes-Fluctuations

Posted: 10 Mar 2010 12:01 AM PST

An Asian man walked into the currency exchange in New York with 2000 yen and walked out with 19 Dollars. The following week, he walked in with 2000 yen, and but was handed only 18 Dollars.

He asked the teller why he got less money than he got last week. The teller said, "Fluctuations."

The Asian man stormed out, but just before slamming the door, he turned around and said, "Fluc you Amelicans too!"

Funny halloween jokes-Least popular candles

Posted: 09 Mar 2010 12:01 AM PST

10 Least Popular Halloween Candies

10. Bit-O-Squirrel
9. Poisonettes
8. Good n' Sweaty
7. Middlefinger
6. Della Reese's Pieces
5. Clam Duds
4. Baby Ruth Bader Ginsburg
3. Gummy Marrow
2. Ken Starrburst
1. Osmond Joy

Teacher jokes-Seventeenth Chapter

Posted: 09 Mar 2010 12:01 AM PST

A Sunday school teacher was giving her class the assignment for the next week.

"Next Sunday," she said, "we are going to talk about liars, and in preparation for our lesson I want you all to read the Seventeenth Chapter of Mark."

The following week, at the beginning of the class meeting, the teacher said, "Now then, all of you who have prepared for the lesson by reading the Seventeenth Chapter of Mark, please step to the front of the room."

About half the class rose and came forward.

"The rest of you may leave," said the teacher, "these students are the ones I want to talk to. There is no Seventeenth Chapter in the Book of Mark."

Really funny jokes-Best flag

Posted: 08 Mar 2010 12:01 AM PST

A Scottsman, a Chinaman, a Pom and an Aussie were in the pub debating whose country was the best.
The Scottsman reckoned his was the best, because we got the greenest grass.
The Pom reckoned his was the best because they had the most beautiful flag.
The Chinaman reckoned his was the best because of their Great Wall.
The Aussie said we're the best, 'cos we got the kangaroo, and that can jump over your great wall, crap on your grass and wipe it's *** with your flag!

Short humor jokes-Here are some nice Dilbert's one liners:

Posted: 07 Mar 2010 12:01 AM PST

Here are some nice Dilbert's one liners:

1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.

2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.

3. Try & try, if you don't succeed, then CHEAT

4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.

5. When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.

6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train..

7. Born free, taxed to death.

8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.

12. It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.

13. I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.

14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.

16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

17. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

18. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?

19. Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!

20. If you can't convince them, confuse them.

21. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.

22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers

24. The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.

25. Someday is not a day of the week

26. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

27. To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.

28. The road to success.... Is always under construction.

29. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.

30. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.

31. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening, engaged or married to someone else!