Really Funny Jokes

>> Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Really Funny Jokes

Adult jokes-First trick

Posted: 22 Dec 2009 12:05 AM PST


The new hooker just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street, the seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the details.
She said "well, he was a big muscular and handsome marine".
"Well, what did he want to do?" they all asked.
She said "I told him that a straight lay was $100, but he said he didn't have that much".
"So I told him that oral sex would be $75, but he didn't have that much either".
"Finally I said, well, how much do you have"?
The marine said that he only had $25.
The new hooker said "well, for $25 all I can do is service you by hand"
He agreed and after getting the finances straight, she said "he pulled it out and I put one hand on it, and then the second hand above the first and then the first hand above the second hand…"
"Oh my god" they all exclaimed, "it must have been huge, then what did you do?"
With a big smile on her face, she said.
"I loaned him $75!"

Funny farm jokes-Texan farmer travels

Posted: 22 Dec 2009 12:04 AM PST


A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large".

Then they walk around the ranch a little and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, " We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows".

The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, "And what are those"?

The Aussie asks with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas"?

Short funny jokes-LAPD

Posted: 22 Dec 2009 12:03 AM PST


LAPD OFFICER: "We arrested this man beating the living daylights out of some poor slob for no reason at all! What should we charge him with?"
DESK SERGEANT: "Impersonating an Officer."

Posted by madhu at 5:05 AM

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