Really Funny Jokes

>> Saturday, November 21, 2009

Really Funny Jokes

Office jokes-Discussing occupations

Posted: 21 Nov 2009 12:05 AM PST


Max and Abe are relaxing on the beach in Miami and get around to discussing what their occupations were.
Max replied that he was retired from the hat business. Seems there was a fire and the insurance company paid $1 million and he retired to Florida.
When asked about Abe's business, he replied that his was in women's clothing, that he had a flood, and the insurance company paid him $3 million and he retired to Florida.
After about 10 minutes Max asked, "How do you start a flood?"

Really funny jokes-Drinking battery acid and eating fireworks

Posted: 21 Nov 2009 12:04 AM PST


A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife. "You just won't believe what happened this evening , in all my years on the force I've never seen anything like it.""
Oh yes dear, what happened ?"
"I came across two guys down by the canal, one of them was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks."
"Drinking battery acid and eating fireworks!! What did you do with them ?"
"Oh that was easy, I charged one and let the other off".

Sardar jokes-Disturbing the neighborhood

Posted: 21 Nov 2009 12:03 AM PST


Each Friday night after work, Santa Singh would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a tandoori chicken and some meat kebabs. But, all of his neighbors were strict Catholics ... and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating chicken and meat on a Friday.

The delicious aroma from the grilled meats was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their Priest.
The Priest came to visit Santa, and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Santa attended Mass ... and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Sikh, and raised a Sikh, but now dear, you are a Catholic."

Santa's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived.
The wonderful aroma of tandoori chicken and meat kebabs filled the neighborhood. The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors and, as he rushed into Santa's backyard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.

There stood Santa, holding a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meats and chanted:
"Oye, you waz born a chicken, and you waz born a lamb,
you waz raised a chicken, and you waz raised a lamb
but now dears.... you are a potato and tomato"!

Really good stuff-We're Pirates in Bikinis

Posted: 20 Nov 2009 09:29 PM PST


We're pirates in bikinis
singing proper pirate songs,
while wearing scary pirate hats
and teeny-tiny thongs.

We prance around the poop-deck
in our bathing suits because
we plunder much more booty
in our itsy-bitsy bras.

In fact, when we attacks a ship
we needn't lift a sword.
We makes our victims laugh so hard
they tumble overboard.

And as we takes their treasure
we sing proper pirate songs,
while wearing scary pirate hats
and teeny-tiny thongs.

So if you sees us coming,
bag your swag without no fuss.
We're pirates in bikinis
and your loot belongs to us.

Posted by madhu at 5:16 AM

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