Really Funny Jokes

>> Monday, November 2, 2009

Really Funny Jokes

Hilarious short jokes-No intention

Posted: 02 Nov 2009 12:05 AM PST


What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Funny jokes-Stay fit

Posted: 02 Nov 2009 12:04 AM PST


Mary and Sue hadn't seen each other for years. When they finally sat down to lunch, Mary was stunned at how trim and healthy Sue looked.
"My God," she said, "What do you do to stay so fit?"
"Well," answered Sue, "I've found that nothing keeps me trimmer than having affairs."
"Really!" exclaimed Mary, looking her friend up and down. "You simply must tell me who does your catering!"

Really funny jokes-Things to do in an Elevator

Posted: 02 Nov 2009 12:03 AM PST


1) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap him on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.

5) Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

6) Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8) Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if he has an appointment.

9) Lay down the Twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask him if he can hear ticking.

11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

12) Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing him occasionally.

14) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

15) Swat at flies that don't exist.

16) Tell people that you can see their aura.

17) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

18) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

19) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

20) Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

21) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

22) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

23) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

24) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I have new socks on."

25) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"

Posted by madhu at 6:02 AM

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