Really Funny Jokes
>> Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Really Funny Jokes |
| Posted: 29 Sep 2009 12:04 AM PDT
A good Hasidic family is most concerned that their 30-year-old son is unmarried. They call a shadchen (match-maker) and ask her to find their son a good wife. The shadchen comes over to their house and spends a long time asking questions of the son and his parents as to what they want in a wife and daughter-in- law. They give him a long shopping list of requirements. The matchmaker takes a long time looking, and finally asks to visit the family again. She then tells them of a wonderful woman she has found. She says she's just the right age for the son. She keeps a Kosher kitchen. She regularly attends synagogue and knows the prayers by heart. She is a wonderful cook and housekeeper. She loves children and wants a large family. And, to crown it all off, she's gorgeous. After hearing all this, the family is very impressed and begins to get excited about the prospects of a wedding in the near future. But the son pauses and states, "I don't know. Our sex life will be very important to me. Go and ask her if I can have a sample or two before making a final decision." The shadchen returns later with an answer. "I'm sorry, but she says she doesn't give samples. But she says she would be happy to give you several references."  |
| Ultimate jokes-Drunken driving Posted: 29 Sep 2009 12:03 AM PDT
The Policeman had stopped the man for obvious drunken driving, but since the guy had a clean record, he made him park the car and took him home in the patrol car. "Are you sure this is your house?" the cop asked as they drove into a rather fashionable neighborhood. "Shertainly! " said the drunk, "and if you'll just open the door f'me, I can prove it to ya." The police officer followed the man as he shakily negotiated the stairs to the second floor. The drunk pushed open the first door they came to. "Thish ish my bedroom," he announced. "Shee the bed there? Thast mine! Shee that woman lying in the bed? Thash my wife. An' see that guy lying next to her? "Yeah?" the cop replied suspiciously. Beginning at this point to seriously doubt the man's story. "Well, thash me!"  |
| Posted: 29 Sep 2009 12:03 AM PDT
Waiting for my glasses to be repaired, I heard the optician trying to convince a customer she needed a stronger prescription. "I'm fine with what I have," she insisted. "Okay," he challenged, "what does it say on the store window across the street?" "'30% to 40% off all merchandise' " "That's incredible." "Not really," she said. "I never miss a sale."  |
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