| Short adult jokes | Priests in shower Posted: 31 Aug 2010 03:07 AM PDT 
Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap.Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it , not bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand, and heads back to the showers. He is halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way. Having no place to hide , he stands against the wall and freezes like he's a statue. The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks. The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls on his manhood. Startled , he drops a bar of soap. "Oh look" says the first nun , "it's a soap dispenser". To test her theory the second nun also pulls on his manhood. Sure enough , he drops the second bar of soap. Now the third nun decides to have a go. She pulls once, then twice and three times but nothing happens. So she gives several more tugs , then yells..."Holy Mary , Mother of God , HAND LOTION TOO!"
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| Funny jokes-Parachutists Posted: 31 Aug 2010 12:02 AM PDT 
An English parachutist and an Irish parachutist were arguing about who was best at folding a parachute. Unable to resolve their dispute on the ground, they decided to go up in a plane and judge by the mid-air performance of their parachutes.
The Irishman jumped first, pulled his cord, and started floating down towards the earth.
Then the Englishman jumped, pulled his cord and nothing happened; he pulled his safety cord - nothing. In a matter of seconds he whizzed past the Irishman, plummeting like a stone.
"Oh," shouted the Irishman, yanking off his harness, "so ya wanna race, do ya?!"  |
| Really good stuff-Reasons to be single Posted: 31 Aug 2010 12:01 AM PDT 
Cooking my own meals would be an adventure, not a punishment.
I wouldn't have to explain why I'm wearing "that" shirt with "those" pants.
I could leave the toilet seat in any position I damn well please.
I could actually tell the bartender, "If anyone calls, I'm here".
I'd be painting the town instead of the house.
When I get home after work, I don't have to start work again.
I could show my girlfriend where I live.
I'd be driving a miniskirt instead of a minivan.
The only weeds I'd be concerned with are the ones I'm rolling.
I would have saved $372,416.21 in groceries by now.
I wouldn't catch so much grief about those skid-marks in my underwear!
I'd get to see what my paycheck looks like.
I'd get to see what my credit cards look like.
You can see a different face when you wake up in the morning, every day of the week!
Going to a strip club doesn't have to be a covert mission.
Bachelors don't have Mother-in-laws.
I wouldn't have to watch sub-titled French films.
I could home drunk to sleep, instead of under a bridge.
I could use my own name at hotels.
I wouldn't have a driving instructor grading me every time I go somewhere.  |
